Mari's Story
I spent half my life worrying over a whole list
of things. I used to worry because I wasn't June Cleaver!
As a single Mom I was always worrying about
what other people thought of me, especially as a Mother. I had set
ideas about how a mother should look and behave, and I would beat
myself up for not being perfect, not having enough money, not having
a Father for my child, not being able to fix everything in the world,
and for being fat.
I spent so much time worrying, and feeling
guilty and bad, that I stopped doing anything at all for myself.
I took to lying around saying "There is
nothing I can do... I am fat because I was pregnant & It is
not my fault.
I would let myself be talked out of doing positive
things for myself, because it was easier to believe people telling
me negative things, and I worried what they would think of me if
I went against their opinion.
I got more and more depressed worrying about
all the things that I couldn't do and all the things I couldn't
control, like the state of the world.
Doing the de-worrying process was a revelation
for me. It made me realize I had a choice, and I'm choosing not
to worry any more! I did the process over and over in every part
of my life that was worrying me, and now I have a completely different
life! It's amazing!
The whole key for me was to recognize that the
worry was only inside me.
When I focus on doing what I can do, and especially
on what I can do for myself, everything else falls in to place like
dominos.
I still don't have a lot of money, but these days I don't worry
about it once I've done everything I can. I am not worried about
next month any more, I know it will take care of itself, just like
this month is, and last month did &
I still have some of the same problems, but
I feel differently about them now. They are challenges rather than
problems, they don't worry me any more. I have seen how it always
works out and I am happy!
I no longer worry about all the things I can't
control. I know I can have an effect on those things but I don't
have control over them. For example I learned I can't recycle everyone's
trash, but I can recycle mine. I can't raise everyone's children
but I can raise mine. And when I do the best I can it makes a difference
in the world.
Now rather than worrying that my daughter doesn't
have a father - which I used to overcompensate for by giving her
anything she wanted - I realized I had done everything I could have
done, that there was no reason for me to feel guilty or bad. And
I started doing good things for myself again.
I decided to start walking to lose weight,
and I didn't give up when my sister told me walking wouldn't help.
I stuck to my guns instead of letting it give me an excuse not to
do it, and said I am going to do it anyway. Now I look and feel
great and my sister walks with me every day, and she is noticing
a difference in herself too!
It's been hard to say no to all of the old
habits, to recognize them and be honest with myself about what is
really going on. But it's been worth it.
I put all the time I once spent worrying into
creating a much better life for my daughter and I. One of the things
I learned when I was creating positive solutions is that I love
making other people feel good. I got productive and now have a successful
therapeutic massage business and get to bring help and healing all
day long! I love my life now.
Mariposa Cervantes
Natural Spa Therapist
(512) 440 4719
